Friday, May 29, 2009

May Grey Matters

My best friend Matt is coming for a visit this weekend. I really can't wait to see him. He was my best man at my wedding, and we have been constant companions since the day we met at the volunteer orientation for the GLBT film festival in Tucson in 2003. We've traveled together to San Francisco a few times, and even to Chicago. We made countless trips to visit San Diego when we were still living back home. We have discovered so many new adventures together over the years. He's one of those great friends that was ALWAYS on my side, even when he knew how very wrong I was. You know how they say "A friend will help you move. A BEST friend will help you move a body." Matt would be the first one on site with a shovel. Since we moved here, I don't see him very often. I miss him a great deal and I'm really looking forward to spending some time once again with him. As we close out the Merry Month of May, I can't help but reflect on the events of the past four weeks. We marched. We fought. We laughed and drank. We also cried a bit. And drank. We found out that our marriage is, in fact, legal. One of the 18,000 couples so often referred to in the news and blogosphere. Baby steps. I watched a couple of documentaries that really helped me put things into perspective. It's tough sometimes, for all of us. Tough economic times, political uncertainty. It's all out there. But after watching "Before Stonewall" and "After Stonewall" I realized that although we still have an uphill climb ahead of us, that we have indeed come a very long way. I watched the footage of young men being beaten by cops, thrown into police cars, their names published in the paper, all because they were gay. I saw our community organize through adversity. And as we were hit with the AIDS virus, how we banded together to take care of one another. Made quilts that grew over time, each frame marking another life, touring the country in memoriam. I was reminded how a brave few risked their safety and in some cases, their very lives, just so that the government would stand up and begin to address this disease that had hit our community so very hard. For every well known bashing, hate crime and murder, there are dozens that mainstream media has never covered. and we are driven together once again. Not fighting, but demanding that we be treated equally. I am so eternally grateful to have grown up in this generation, where so much progress has been made to make my existence safer and more enjoyable. Though we have many more battles to win, history has shown that we're capable. We will win. I won't give up. I can't. Here's to a great June. I'm so happy I get to bring in the new month with my best friend. (And now we drink)
Photo by Julie Edwards

Friday, May 22, 2009

Got Milk?

Harvey Bernard Milk (May 22, 1930 – November 27, 1978) Unless you've been living under a rock for the past year, you have heard of Harvey Milk. Once Sean Penn grabbed Oscar by the throat, the world became enlightened. Milk was the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. When I first moved to San Francisco in 1994, I hadn't a clue who he was. The MUNI station I used to get to work was named Harvey Milk Plaza and there was a plaque stating who he was, and his significance to the city and more importantly, to our community. When he was assassinated, the world had just gotten word of the Jonestown Mass Suicides and Murders. So much grief for our beautiful city by the bay, as many of the Jonestown victims were San Francisco transplants. Upon my arrival, it had only been fifteen years since this all took place. I worked at Macy's in Union Square, and my staff was filled with old queens who actually knew him. They quickly got me up to speed on Harvey. His influence, and his legacy. The ridiculous ruling on his assassin, and the White Night Riots that followed. Harvey Milk was an inspiration to all of us in the community, and thanks to Dustin Lance Black and Gus Van Sant, his story was told to the masses. Yesterday marked the 30th anniversary of the White Night Riots and today is Harvey's Birthday. He would have been 79 years old. Oh how I would have loved to have met him.
Happy Birthday Harvey.

When I Saw You

I have three nieces. 20, 10 and 9. They are our families pride and joy. The Jan Brady of the bunch came into existence On July 23rd, 1998. Since her arrival I fell head over heels. She has an infectious smile and overwhelming beauty for her young age. The first time I held her in my arms I couldn't help but be smitten. Her tiny head resting in the palm of my hand and her skinny little legs barely reaching past my elbow. As she grew it became evident that she was going to be a show stopper. Smart, funny and she absolutely loves her family. Today she graduated from elementary school. Her whole life is ahead of her, and the world is indeed her oyster. She's got Junior High ahead of her, then High School. Maybe college. Maybe marriage. Seems like only yesterday I was swinging and sliding with her in the park. And now at ten, she has highlights in her hair, makeup on her face and holds herself with complete grace. When did this happen? How did she become a young lady so quickly. I'm sure all families are stricken with the abrupt manner in which kids grow up, but this one is really throwing me for a loop. Ten years. Goes by in a blink. I know that she has to grow up, but does she have to do it this fast?
I love you Jaime.

When I Saw You
Words and Music by Mariah Carey

Soft heavenly eyes gazed into me
Transcending space and time
And I was rendered still
There were no words for me to find at all
As I stood there beside myself
I could see you and no one else

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe, I feel so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you
I'd never be, I'd never be the same

Only once in a lifetime love rushes in
Changing you with the tide
And dawn's ribbon of light
Bursts through the dark
Wakening you inside
And I thought it was all untrue
Until there all at once I knew

With no beginning and
Without an end
You are the one for me
It's evident
And your eyes told me so
Your eyes let me know...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Travelin' Joe

We met our friend Joe late last summer. We've been inseparable since we met. He helped dish out the pot pies at our reception. We spent Thanksgiving together. We see one another several times a week. He is without question our touchstone here in San Diego. He spent his entire life here and never fails to make us laugh. He's one of us. He's family. And he's leaving. He is heading up to Palm Springs to enjoy a sun-soaked holiday weekend. Joe brightens up every circle he participates in and I'm sure Palm Springs will be no exception. We've only been there once, over Thanksgiving. What we saw, we liked. But we have never been back. We don't travel much anymore. At least I don't . Since arriving in San Diego, I haven't wanted to leave for anything. I went back to Tucson for Christmas, and before that on Mom's Birthday. Other than that, I stay put. This is to me the most beautiful city I've ever encountered and I hate leaving it for any length of time. The summer weather in Tucson typically exceeds the century mark, and we've seen our share of Tucson summers. Right now it's about 65 degrees here in North Park with a slight breeze as the sun begins to set and cast a pink glow on everything in sight. It's a hundred and three in Palm Springs.
Have fun Joe.

Mom and Dad and Rachel Ray

We're getting ready for a long overdue visit with my parents. This year they will celebrate their 47th wedding anniversary. They've been together forever. It's always so exciting to have your parents come to your house to stay. So grown up. I'm forty two years old and I still feel like a kid where those two are concerned. Wanting to make them comfortable. And hoping to make them smile.
Typically I spend the days leading up to their arrival cleaning everything. Everything. Things that aren't on the normal rotation. Window sills and blinds. The blades to the ceiling fans. I would wash everything that I could possibly fit into the dishwasher. The grates for the stove, lids to canisters, rarely used utensils. You get the gist.
As I grow older though, everything centers around the food. I don't even know when that happened, but I plan every meal that we will share during their visit. This is not the norm for us an a daily basis, but when Mom and Dad are coming, we pull out all the stops. I've been planning the Carne Asada Quesadillas. The individual lasagne's and the Cobb Salads. I have been to three different grocery stores this week in order to get either the best price, or the best product and will be shopping a fourth before the week is done so I can take advantage of the "Weekend Only" coupon. You gotta love holiday weekends. I can't wait to make the little Pastrami and Swiss sandwiches on English Muffins. What's happening to me? I'm turning into a food network junkie and I even created my own wedding cake. (With help)
Let's hope all the meals come off. It's always a crap shoot.
Maybe I'd better start cleaning...

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Waiting for eight. Ask any gay man or lesbian woman in the fine state of California what that means to them. For some of us, we wait for another group of folks to decide if Shawn and I have the privilege to remain legally wed. As the dawn of this decision finally approaches, I don't think I'm ready for it. It's somehow nicer. Safer. Not knowing. According to most of the posts I've followed, few in the community have even a glimmer of hope that this thing will swing in our favor. Marches are planned. I keep marching. Hoping.
My ipod is filled with an eclectic mix of genres. Probably a good three quarters of the play list is devoted to my all time Greatest Hits which defines who I am. Depeche Mode, Erasure, Abba. The soundtrack of my life, if you will. The rest of the songs are fairly chaotic in their range. Gospel, Oldies, One Hit Wonders.
The other day The Beach Boys came up on the shuffle.
I really love the Beach Boys. Quintessential California. My Dad grew up in the same environment as they did, so I always imagine his views are similar. I've heard the song a thousand times, but on this particular performance I thought about Shawn. How we met. How we planned our lives. How we traveled. How we thought, "Wouldn't It Be Nice?"
Brian Wilson - Tony Asher - Mike Love
Lead Vocal: Alan Jardine & Mike Love

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up (ooooohhh oooh)
In the morning when the day is new (ooooohhh ohh)
And after having spent the day together (ooooohh ohh)
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Oh, wouldn't it be nice (pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
(run run de-oooo)
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
(we could be married)
And then we'd be happy
(and then we'd be happy)
Wouldn't it be nice

(pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)
(pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)
(pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

(pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)
(pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)
(pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom)

Good night oh baby
Sleep tight oh baby
Good night oh baby
Sleep tight oh baby

Photo by Julie Edwards


Welcome to my blog! I've been following others for so long now, I thought I would give it my best. My Name is David. I am an Interior Designer by trade. I have been back in San Diego since January of 2008 and I couldn't be happier here. Since arriving I have gained a "family" member. Jersey was born in November of 2007. She looks like a Jack Russell, but she's actually a chihuahua. I've also lost a member. Ginger was a Golden Retriever that I adopted from my parents. She was born in February of 1994. She took her last breath this spring. We miss her. My partner Shawn and I have been together since March of 1996. We were married last September, but the voters of California snatched that away from us. We are currently awaiting the California Supreme Court ruling on whether or not our is valid. All in a day, huh?